


A Lesson on Love(s)

by Helenpraspro



Category: Naruto
Genre: Arranged Marriage, F/M, Female Uchiha Sasuke, Fluff, Hokage Uchiha Itachi, Mentioned Orochimaru (Naruto), Mentioned Uzumaki Naruto, No Uchiha Massacre, Not Actually Unrequited Love, POV Uchiha Itachi, Pining, Uchiha Shisui Lives, Unrequited Love, fluff at first
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 17:02:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28710165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Helenpraspro/pseuds/Helenpraspro
Summary: Itachi learns painful things about love, 'love', and his little sister.non-massacre AU, Victims of Peace universe
Relationships: Uchiha Itachi & Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Itachi/Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Sasuke & Uchiha Shisui
Comments: 2
Kudos: 36





	A Lesson on Love(s)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [A_Hawk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Hawk/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Victims of Peace](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7011652) by [A_Hawk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Hawk/pseuds/A_Hawk). 



> Hi!  
> This story was inspired by A-hawk's amazing Victims of Peace, and Although it happens in the same universe, It's very short, different, there is little Shisui/Satsuki overall, and the focus is on Itachi and Satsuki.  
> You don't need to read VoP to understand my story, or the other way around. (But I highly recommend you to. VoP is great!)
> 
> Hope you enjoy :)  
> To Listen: 'Love, Love, Love' by 'Of Monsters and Men'  
> p.s:  
> Tuski: Moon

_You love, love, love_

_When you know I can't love you._

_-Love, Love, Love by Of Monsters and Men_

Itachi Uchiha was sitting on the deck of the Uchiha’s main house, doing paperwork.

He liked to sit there, looking at the lone, old tree of crape myrtle standing right before him, while Its pink little flowers were dancing with the cool breeze. It was such an amazing view all by itself, seeing it still stood there, watching generation after generation live and die in the Uchiha’s main house. Itachi had to struggle with his mind to keep his focus on the dull ink and paper. 

But he still could manage, if It wasn’t for the incredible, silver rays of moonlight, shining on the stony floor of the yard.

It was so breathtakingly perfect, that he let himself a break, looking up to the sky decorated by little shiny lights, and a huge, dazzling one.

The silence broke, when he heard quiet but easy footsteps behind him, coming with the sweet, floral smell of shampoo. “what’re you doing, nii-san?” His little sister playfully sat beside him. Itachi looked down from the moon to her, smiling at her pale face.

“Nothing much. trying to complete this report.”

“Trying?” she raised an eyebrow, like saying Itachi didn’t _try_ to do things. He _did_ them.

“Yes. But This annoying _Tsuki_ is distracting me.” He teased. She chuckle.

“Of course, _Tsuki_ is the only thing that can distract the mighty Uchiha Itachi from his paperwork!" Itachi raised an eyebrow. There was this unusual cheerfulness in her voice that wasn't fitting, while the naughty smile Sounded odd on her often expressionless face.

It wasn't like Itachi was the one to talk. He hadn’t seen much of his sister recently. They saw each other for some rare meals when none of them were in office or on mission. He had seen her a few times in the hokage tower, but it was just that.

He bitterly realized that probably Uzumaki Naruto had spent more time with her sister than Itachi himself, in the past few months.

He couldn't be sure, but he _felt_ her sister was unusually cheerful. It filled Itachi with joy that she was generally okay and happy, even though they didn’t have time to share that happiness with each other much.

“It’s okay to be distracted once in a while. Especially by the Moon," she said, smiling at an internal joke. "Now that I think, you _should_ be distracted by the moon. it’s shiny, and pretty, and incredibly poetic. A lot of good men were distracted by the moon. Just, look at all these poems about it.”

She ended her speech with a knowing smile. Itachi shrugged, knowing completely well what she was implying, but turned his eyes back to the nightmare in his lap. 

Satsuki sighed. Without any warning, she reached for the papers on his lap, and grabbed them. Before Itachi could protest, they were away and far from his reach.

“Satsuki…”

“No. No. No. Don't you have shame? There are _two_ _moons_ here! One more than most men can ever hope to see in their whole life, and you are writing a _report_?” She said, truly offended. “I bet It’s for like… three months later, and you’re doing extra homework, you teacher’s pet.”

“I can’t let them pile on…” Itachi tried to reason.

“No way! You’ll never become Hokage if you do your paperwork this early! Just look at your ancestors: Shodaime, Sandaime, and even Yondaime, according to Kakashi-sensei! they were all lazy-asses in paperwork. Oh and, don't forget Tsunade! She is the worst. Totally.” 

Itachi frowned playfully. “what about Nidaime?”

she snorted. “He’s a freak. He doesn’t count.”

Itachi chuckled, and Satsuki smiled bright and triumphant, knowing that she won this. she put the papers as far away as possible from him, and stretched her limbs.

“Great! Now I have my nii-san all for myself, without stupid paperwork on the way.” She said and glared at her rival. Itachi couldn't help but laugh at the whole thing, that made Satsuki grin wide and bright.

They didn’t talk for a few minutes, both enjoying the silence, with smiles on their lips. Before satsuki broke it:

“So, what were you up to? I mean, we didn’t have much time to catch up recently.” She said, playing with her hair.

He knew how she felt, but it wasn't her fault. He was the one drowning himself in work. He barely came home, because work _never_ really ended. He just had a lot on his plate.

There were clan matters, council matters, his duty as Hokage’s apprentice, and advisor. So workload was something he was never short of.

Not that there was anything back in home, or anyone. Satsuki was as busy as him, and Father...

He sighed.

“I don’t mind hearing about boring stuff, if you want to talk about them.” She said. His fingers drawing circles on the wooden deck. Itachi was sure Satsuki had more interesting stories to tell, as an active special jounin. But he still started to talk, and she still listened.

He talked about the stupid man they had for a daimyo, and the fuss he made because one of the Rookie teams injured the tenth, or maybe twelfth Tora, when they were trying to capture her. He talked about the upcoming Chunin exam, which was the biggest headache for all of them, although it was two months away. Why? Just because Itachi wanted _real_ peace negotiations with Iwa and Kumo, and chunin exam was a good chance to make bonds between villages. They could participate in it together with other lands, after a decade of hate and contention. He said all about how Tsuchikage was incredibly hard to work with, and Iwa’s council was even worse than him.

It wasn’t like Itachi enjoyed these things. the never-ending political nightmare, repeating the repetitions because _protocol,_ hell amount of paperwork _,_ and lot’s of stubborn(jerk) people he needed to deal with daily. 

No, he didn’t enjoy them, but all of this had a reason, and he had a goal. Change.

That was it. That was what he enjoyed. The result. Nothing could change so soon, but he was seeing small signs of it. Small proofs that proved the possibility. That was enough. That was worth it.

He would do anything, just to change the system that once was about to get all of his clan killed, by his own hands. The system that was about to produce a clan-less, hate-ridden orphan that was his sister. The system that had Shisui literally _die_ and get tortured _blind._

He couldn’t let that happen again. He couldn’t let that happen to _anyone._ Especially his sister.

Itachi talked and talked, and Satsuki listened in an attentive silence. It surprised Itachi for the second time that night. Satsuki wasn’t like this. She ran through other people’s speech, and commented a lot. Now, It seemed like she was soaking every stupid detail in.

“Am I boring you?” He cut himself at once. “I’m talking a lot and you’re probably not interested in…”

“No, not at all. Do tell!" She said hurriedly, and nearly fell off the deck. "I like it, really!” 

Itachi looked at her suspiciously. Satsuki made a noise between a desperate chuckle and sigh, embarrassed, but telling him to go on.

Itachi nodded. He tried to pick up the story he was telling from where he left it, but failed to remember what it was in the first place. Thinking twice, he actually _didn’t_ have anything else to say. He felt like all these thoughts and worries flew out of his mind in the shape of words, and there was nothing left there.

He felt light. In a strange, good way. A tiny bit of tiredness was still there, but it wasn’t _exhaustion_ anymore. Like talking the past months out made it all vanish.

But now he had no idea how he was meant to keep the conversation going, and there was this knowing smile on Satsuki’s lips. The smiles he gave her as a kid when she was being adorable.

“So everything seems alright.” She said with that pleased smile, and it clicked in Itachi’s head.

So that was what she was doing! 

“You…” He tried to say, but it took him a few moments to collect the words and thoughts.

It always shocked Itachi, how his little sister seemed to always succeed in making him feel better, knowingly or unknowingly, in small ways like letting him ramble about his last, exhausting months. “You really are something else.” He exhaled a soft chuckle at least.

Her eyebrow jumped up. “Hmm, really? Don’t know what you are talking about.” 

“You really should think twice about your choice of role model. Kakashi-san is not a suitable one.” Itachi said. Satsuki's lips twitched in a smirk, and didn’t say anything.

“So everything seems alright.” Repeated Satsuki. she sighed, and leaned on his shoulder in a sudden, single motion.

The causality of the action startled Itachi but he let her stay where she wanted. Her cheekbone barely touching his shoulder. Her weight was mostly on her left hand. The hand that found his right one, and soon they were tangled together on the cold wooden floorboards.

Her hand was too small and soft for a kunoichi. They didn’t feel much different from the little hand he took and walked to the Academy. Like it hadn’t killed and hurt more than once, during the last years. It was so incredibly warm, between his freezing fingers.

She sighed again, this one without the cheeriness, and moved closer.

“Damn, nii-san! Why are you so great. It's not fair!” She said, and Itachi blinked from confusion. she hadn’t said the sentence this bluntly with this tone since she was eight.

She never announced rivalry on him, like she did with the blond Uzumaki. Itachi hated how people kept comparing his sibling to him. They were different. Totally different, and in every form and shape. She wasn’t him. She _shouldn’t_ become him.

Fortunately, Satsuki stopped trying to meet their exceptions and “be like her brother” long ago. But for a moment there, Itachi feared she never stopped. That she was suffering the unwanted rivalry this whole time. Just before she continued.

“Not fair at all.” She whined. “You are… you do all these stupid things, over and over. They are stupid, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t hard and erosive. And yet, you never stop. You never give up.”

It wasn’t jealousy. It was awe and admiration in her tone.

And strangely, there was also worry.

“I used to think you work this much because you are just good, and hard stuff comes easy for you. You always _inhumanly_ overwork yourself and act like it’s nothing.”

He frowned. _Inhumanly. A more polite word for ‘monster’._

 _That's what they used to call us, call me. The Uchiha monster._ His fingers twitched between hers. _So that’s the word they use nowadays_.

“But It’s not _nothing_.” Satsuki said stubbornly, and squeezed his hand. Like she could hear what he was thinking.

“You are just too good, unlike the ordinary human beings who just nag and stall and laze around.” She said with distaste. “They call you prodigy and hero, and put all the burden on your shoulders. And still, you never stop doing what you do. You still do all the work because you’re too nice to call them out on their abuse…”

“Satsuki.” Itachi called at once. Satsuki stopped and turned to look at him. He only smiled his usual ‘It’s okay’ smile. "Thanks."

Satsuki didn’t smile back. She frowned and pressed her lips together, and let her eyelids fall shut. “See? You’re great like this.” She mumbled like a child, swinging her head back and forth, rhythmic. The long strands of her hair were brushing on his neck. “That’s exactly why I love you.”

He choked on his breath, and Satsuki immediately added, “Not love, love. _love._ ”

Itachi’s cheeks reddened from embarrassment. Of course she meant… what was with him? Satsuki laughed at her flushed expression, loud and easy. Itachi made a noise of protest, but it went unheard in her free laugh.

He huffed, but smiled at least. It was good to see her like this. Maybe she was always like this, and he never noticed? He didn’t have time to notice? Or maybe he didn’t even bother...

She was right. He needed to get distracted by the _moon_ once in a while. It reminded him why he went through all the political hell, and endured the headaches after council meetings. He needed the reminder.

She stopped laughing, a trace of a charmed smile on her lips. “I love you, because you never give up. just like Naruto. the difference is, he is _loud,_ and you’re quiet, gentle, and efficient.” 

She pressed her cheekbone to his shoulder once again, her breath dancing on his neck, the smooth heat of her body touching his skin.

He looked at her from the corner of his eyes, drinking in her profile. The stray strands of hair covering one of her eyes, and the other, alluring and charmed, was fixed on an unknown spot. Her neck bare and tilted a little, white as snow. She was perfect, in every shape, form, or angle...

Itachi stopped the thought there, fearing the sudden emotion rushing in his blood. Exhaling and burying the desires before they could reach the surface. 

“So that means you love Naruto-kun, too.” He teased to fill the gap. "Or you _love_ me because I'm similar to him?"

She snorted. “I _like_ Naruto, because he is similar to you.” She stressed the word _like._ “But you’re still better.”

There was no way he could respond to that sentence. He wanted to tell her that she’s great, much better than he can ever hope to be. Pure and perfect and… everything. She was everything.

But he didn’t need to tell. She probably knew herself.

And, to be honest, he enjoyed her compliments just a little bit more than he should. So he stayed silent. So did she.

“Can I do something childish?” She suddenly asked. “It’s really really childish. you probably don’t make fun of me, but I can’t be sure…”

“I won’t laugh.” He promised, curiously.

Satsuki believed him, and moved immediately. Before Itachi could react, there was a head in his lap, and stray strands of bluish-black hair were covering his legs, falling down like silky waterfalls.

He was surprised, but he hid it so she probably didn’t notice.

Again, she hadn’t slept in his lap like this since they were children.

“I Know It’s ridiculous. Sage, I'm a grown kunoichi! but… let me stay like this? Please?” She looked up at him, and folded her legs, so that they shaped two parallel mountains.

He said it’s okay. 

She smiled. 

She asked could he stroke her hair, like, pretending she’s still as cute as she was when she was little.

He said she is still cute. To his surprise, she giggled. he had never heard his sister giggle. It was weird!

She sighed a happy sigh, and he let his hand slide between the newly washed strands of her hair. her pink, swollen lips twitched into a calm, joyful smile.

Suddenly, he found himself humming a lullaby that mother used to sing to them, both of them, when they were little. The tune was so familiar, so pure, that It just felt the right thing to do at that moment.

Itachi’s childhood was spent in war and missions and _blood._ Satsuki’s took place in the tense time between village and clan, when their parents could provide her with little care, and high exceptions. There were few things that Satsuki and Itachi had in common in their childhood, and there was even a longer distance between them when they were younger. 

But this, this was what Mother sang for both of them. A whirlpool country lullaby, and It had a story, too. She'd heard it in the third shinobi war, on a mission with Uzumaki Kushina and their other teammate.

“It was dark.” She had told them. “We were in Iwa, curled in a hole in the middle of nowhere. It was cold, so cold that our breaths froze the moment they came out of our mouths. The mission was dangerous, We were lucky to save ourselves, let alone finishing it. And we were exhausted to bone, with tired, disturbed minds.

“When kushina started to sing this, It was like our minds went blank, and everything stopped moving. It was just us, and her voice, and the tune. She was singing it in uzu-tongue, but I memorized the rhyme, and never forgot it.”

None of them forgot it either.

They hummed along. His strong, bass voice, with her flat and low, but warm one, joined together and _flied_. The tune danced in the air, falling on their eardrums like petals of Sakura blossoms.

 _There_ and _then,_ were the exact place and time he wanted to be in. Itachi realized. _that_ was the exact thing he wanted to do for the rest of his life. Being close to his sister like this, singing her to sleep, stroking her hair, and...

He cut his thoughts once again, focusing on the tune, drowning himself in the notes, and pushing the thoughts _down_ . _Deep_ down where all of his dirty little parts were piled on each other. 

Satsuki closed her eyes, squeezing them hard. She couldn’t prevent the single tear drop from falling.

The next drops came right after, as she bit her lip with force, trying to stop them.

She didn’t succeed.

“I miss her.” She said with a weak voice. “I miss her so much.”

Itachi’s hand lied on her cheek, as he gently wiped the tear away. She opened her teary eyes with a loud inhale.

“I miss her,” she laughed humorlessly. “Although she wouldn’t have known what to do with _this._ She rarely knew what to do, in these matters.”

Itachi’s hand stopped in her hair. “In what matters?” He asked.

She didn’t answer.

So there _was_ something wrong here.

How did he didn’t see it, past the cheerful façade? It was so fake, and wrong and full of holes, and still Itachi didn’t notice how this wasn’t her little sister on a usual day. He just closed his eyes and let her show him what he wanted to see.

Itachi went back to stroking her hair. “What’s wrong, Satsuki?”

“Nothing.” she said. “Really, It’s nothing. Just…” She trailed off. Itachi waited patiently.

she closed her eyes, and after a minute or two, she said it. “Father’s going to announce my match.” Itachi stopped breathing. “My arranged future husband.” She explained, like he didn’t know himself.

Her match.

An arranged marriage.

His eyes widened.

“I didn’t know.” He whispered. “How come... Father didn’t tell me.”

“Of course he didn’t. He knew you would disagree.” she smiled bitterly. “Future Hokage or not, you’re still the heir, and he is still the head.”

_An arranged marriage!_

Of course he’d disagree with something like that! Everything, everything he did was to prevent something like _this_! for Satsuki, so that she didn’t have to suffer the same thing he was going to, or become the same thing he did. He could deal with a traditional marriage himself, he knew it was necessary and unavoidable.

But not for her. Never for her.

She hit him hard with the next words. “And you know? I don’t really mind it.”

“what!” His eyes widened even more. This was the last thing he expected from his sister! 

“I mean, it was time to pay my duties as an Uchiha.” She carelessly shrugged, and the only thing he could think of was: _nonsense._

This wasn’t her sister.

This wasn’t the wild daughter of the clan head, who refused to join the police force, even after people said she was trying to fake her brother by joining Anbu and then continuing as a jounin.

This wasn’t the Uchiha Satsuki, who despite Clan’s intense objection, stayed teammates with _The demon brat_ and _Senju’s apprentice,_ and even worse, _The eye thief._

Uchiha Satsuki is the kunoichi, who sneaked out of the village with her teammates just to find Orochimaru, and bring back his head and a snake summon contract. and when was asked to explain her actions, she just said, “That creepy bastard threatened nii-san.” 

The words got so famous. that some shinobi with an odd sense of humor (read, Anko) added the name _creepy bastard_ under Orochimaru’s name in their old Bingo books.

This wasn’t his little sister.

“why? You’re still young, you’re…”It confused him. The look on her face, so careless and indifferent, confused him. “It’s not like you to give up so easily. Marrying someone you don’t even know…”

“I’m okay, as long as I can stay a kunoichi.” She cut him. “He is probably an Uchiha himself, and I have a good guess who he might be...”

“But… don’t you want to marry someone you love?” He slowly and cautiously asked. This was wrong. Something was greatly wrong with his sister. For a moment there, he suspected her to be an imposter.

“Love,” She tasted the word. “There’s no assurance that I can find something like that. Or that I’m even able to feel it.”

“Satsuki,” Itachi couldn’t understand. Everything was crumbling and slipping form between his fingers. “You know I can prevent this, right? I’ll support you. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

“I appreciate it, nii-san. But I’m okay,” She repeated mechanically. “I can’t let you do all the work, can I?”

Itachi wanted to yell. This wasn’t about _work_ ! This was about her future, her life. He didn’t mind it. He didn’t mind anything, as long as _she_ is okay. _Really_ okay.

“And anyway, I still have you.” She buried her face in his torso, her voice muffled “I love you, and It’s enough. I don’t think I can find a truer feeling than this.”

Itachi didn’t say anything at first. He just kept his hand steady on her back, and listened to her quiet breaths, counting the ups and downs of her curved chest.

“I don’t understand.” He lied with a quiet voice. He understood. Better than anyone. He just didn’t want his mind to realize he understood. “You’re just sixteen. you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into. Don’t tell me you are doing this for what Father said or…”

“Nope. It’s my own decision. It’s not like I have any other option anyway.”

Itachi frowned. “You do. You can do anything that you want. I said I’ll support you, didn’t I?”

This was wrong. Satsuki _never_ needed his support. 

“Can I?” She wondered distantly, he could feel the movement of her lips on his shirt. She moved her head a little, like she was shaking the thoughts away. 

“But as you said, I’m still _young._ You can get me out of the arrangement if I found love on the way.”

“It’s not this easy…”

“Yes. It Is. Trust me.”

Itachi frowned, and didn’t say anything. There was something deeply wrong about this. Something that even Satsuki herself was running away from.

“I feel like I’m drunk. Or drugged.” she said. “But I’m sure I’m not.”

Itachi pulled her back, to look at her pupils. “You don’t have the symptoms.” He said, half serious. Everything seemed normal, except that her eyes shined too bright.

“but I do feel like it. See, I usually don’t talk this much. Lots and lots of things are running in my mind, and I’m saying them aloud! I’m totally drunk. Mentally high on something.”

Itachi thought the same, but didn’t voice his opinion. Instead he asked her the thing that was bothering him from the beginning of this. “You talk like you know who he is.” She didn’t say anything. So he was right. “Who?”

“Does it ma…”

“who?” He insisted.

“I’m not sur...” She tried again.

“Satsuki!” He stared, Satsuki stared back.

Finally, she sighed from defeat. “Shisui.” She answered.

His eyes went wide.

Itachi hated to curse, even mentally.

but _fuck._

She sighed at his reaction. “And before you ask, no I don’t _love_ him, but he’s okay.” 

_He is okay_.

“Father hadn’t said it upright, but he hinted. It’s going to be announced officially after your… marriage.” she said, uncaring and normal. But he heard the small pause.

 _Big brothers marry everyday._ she joked, when people asked how she felt about him marrying. 

“You’re marrying,” He said, finding it too hard to breathe. “With Shisui?”

_And you’re okay with it?_

Shisui was… family. To Satsuki, at least. It was strange, and it was _not_ right.

Satsuki was being married off to a cousin. A very emotionally close cousin, and she was totally okay with it.

He didn’t have any idea about his sisters opinion on... these things. They’d never talked about their view on marriage, or relationship, or love. So there was no way he could tell how she felt about it all.

He thought for a moment that she doesn’t really _know_ what’s the meaning of it…

_Ridiculous. Of course she knows!_

And then it was Shisui! he had accepted! The Shisui, that had been dodging matches the past few years, accepted an arranged marriage with _his little sister!_

“I know what you’re thinking about, nii-san.” She said, and woke up in a quick motion. “Don’t worry your head for me. Shisui and I came into a very deep, mature understanding.” She paused for a moment, before smiling a weird smile, and adding, “We are more similar than you think.”

 _A very deep, mature understanding? this really seems like something Shisui would say._ “What kind of similarity?” He asked.

He highly suspected he wasn’t going to like the answer.

“He loves you too.”

No, Itachi didn’t like the answer _at all._

“I know about your… affairs. It’s just fair, I guess.” She looked at his way, her eyes locked with his. “We both love you, the same love interests make great connecting points. The same pain brings people together.”

“Satsuki,” He breathed to calm himself. His heart was beating hard and fast in his chest, and his mind was shouting _nononono._ “When you say love, you mean… _love_?”

“What’s the difference?” She tilted her head playfully, her lips were smiling, but her eyes were full of _hurt._

“Satsuki.” He called the single word again, in something between a warning and struggle to keep everything together, and failing horribly.

“Tell me, nii-san.” She called back, her body too close to his, her hand softly brushing his fingers. Her chest going up and down with hard breaths of anxiety, that she hid perfectly well in her face. “What’s the difference between love and _love_?”

Itachi didn’t answer. All his effort and focus was on keeping his composure.

Satsuki was his everything. 

He technically owned flashier things than a little sister to call his _everything_. his position as a hero and future Hokage, his strength as a shinobi, and his clan. All things he could be proud of….

But everything wasn’t always like this.

There was a time he had nothing. He was nothing. just a good little soldier and spy, both for the clan and konoha. A killer, a tool, and nothing more.

There was nothing for him his whole life, except for himself. Except for his position as the clan prodigy (And not the heir, since there were whispers that he’s going to die young anyway. A sacrifice for the better of clan and village).

When there was nothing, she was everything.

She was the only light in his dark existence. His reason and meaning and joy.

And now she was looking at him, eyes full of plea and hurt and love, the same love that he was feeling in his chest, the same love that was burning him to ashes, little by little.

 _The only love in existence is love. Love is love. There is no difference between them,_ he wanted so badly to tell her.

But he didn't. He didn’t react at all.

Satsuki saw that as an agreement. Her hand slowly traveled to his legs, touching the inside of his thighs. Where she touched burned, even with the clothes separating their skins.

He caught her wrist. “No.” It came out so rough that it physically hurt.

"I asked him to teach me." She said, charmed and uncaring of his rejection. "Since he had been with you, and had pleasured you. He refused."

Itachi flinched from her words. Why... she really did ask Shisui…Thank god that It was him! He would never...

"He said if you really love him, you'll keep yourself just for him.” She bitterly said. “And I quote, ‘For men, experience is the ace, but for women it's innocence.’ and ‘wouldn’t he be upset, if you give up your first time for another?’”

Itachi watched with horror. "Stop," He didn't want to hear more. "Just, stop. Satsuki." he didn’t want to hear at all.

She was much better than him. She was much more precious than him. He couldn't take it, how she believed otherwise.

He just wanted her to stop.

She didn’t. “He said it’s more likely that you like me the way I am. _Pu_ _re._ ” Something twisted in his stomach with her words. “But I still learned, and trained.”

He was feeling sick, so utterly sick of the goddamn Shisui.

But more of himself, Because he’d implied something like this. And because it was true. Because when her free hand reached for his flushed cheek, He didn’t jerk away.

Because she was his everything. She was his only light. Something that he couldn’t stand seeing tainted, be it by other’s hand, or his own. He wanted her, desired her. Wanted to make her his, mark her his. Again and again and forever.

Itachi wanted, but he couldn’t see the perfect creation that was her little sister ruined like this.

She didn't care, though. She pushed further, pleading with her eyes. "I know you don't love me." 

I love you. I love you more than anything. 

"I know you're too good for me. " 

Wrong. You are too good for me. I'm disgusting. I'm a killer, and I could've ended up a kinslayer, if things went just a little bit wrong. I'm the _inhuman monster._

"I can see how much you disgust me, after hearing these..." 

Disgust! Never. Never you. You're not the disgusting one here. You never are.

"But I love you." She said. "I just wanted to tell you this, before it's too late And..." She trailed off, because Itachi wasn't looking at her anymore.

He couldn't. He couldn't look at the soul he corrupted. The soul he swore he'd protect, and hurt instead. The person who worshiped him and saw him worthy of her love, when the only thing he could give her was the answer no. 

He stared at the floorboards, because he couldn't stand looking at the purest and brightest of lights, still so innocent, even after everything he’d heard from her.

He was pathetic. The last thing he could do was to look. The smallest thing she deserved was his respect and attention.

He looked back at her. She was even closer to him now. He let out a shaky breath.

Moonlight was dancing on her pale face, and between the dark silky shadow that was her hair. Her lips twisted in a sad smile. "We are going our separate ways in less than a month." She whispered. "I wanted to beg you not to leave me, but I know it's impossible. Without you, this world is going to stay like this, and even worse. you’re the hope of this world. You're too good to leave the world on its own."

She closes the little distance left between them, her face too close to his. Before he realizes his hand is locked in her hair, steadying her head gently. They stare into each other's eyes.

 _I want you so much it hurts,_ _But I don't want to do this to you._

_I love you, b_ _ut I don't love you like that._

What meaningless words.

What's the difference between love and _love_?

Love is love. Plain and simple.

"It's time to shed farewell," the quiet words slipped on her tongue softly, flowing out from between her pale pink lips softly.

"Kiss me goodbye?" she tilted her head with a little smile.

He told himself he was doing it because she, her precious little sister, asked him. Not because of the monstrous, inhuman, feeling in his chest. Not because he could no longer control his ugly, evil demons.

He said to himself it was because Satsuki wanted this, and he couldn't refuse anything that his _everything_ wanted from him.

He told himself these again and again, after that night.

But at that moment, _love_ was the only thing he could feel. 

love was the only thing he could see and understand.

Not petty excuses, not petty lies. Just love. 

He thought about love, about kissing her breathless, because he couldn’t let go. Because between air and _her_ , he chose _her._ Always her.

He thought about love, and tasting the salty drops of joy when they ran on her cheeks and into her - _their-_ joined lips.

He thought about love.

He captured her waiting lips in the air, sealing them with his own.

Because he _loved_ her.

Because love is love, and just that.


End file.
